NaNoWriMo Day 14
I found this interesting one off of Pinterest, which is one of my favorite apps right now. Definitely a great one for creativity. But also, in finding this on Pinterest, I also found another blog that strives to develop prompts called Promptarium. If you’re ever looking for a writing prompt, it would be a good idea to check that blog out.
He came home after the worst date of his life. Sitting in the loving room is Cupid, getting really drunk and wanting him to know that he is the hardest person in history to find a mate for–And the reason that he might get fired.
Ricky left the precinct for the first time in his life with the heaviest sigh on his lips.
It’s officially time to stay off of the dating apps, he decided as he shifted the gears of his truck. His most recent attempt at love had actually been a fairly great catch, until he had almost gotten arrested when he tried to walk her home. Apparently, she had been involved with the manufacturing and selling of drugs, not that he knew that. Where was that supposed to be included in the “About Me” section? Under “Interesting Facts”? It had taken him an hour and a half to convince the cops that he legitimately had no idea that the girl that he had gone out with had been a part of a drug bust.
When he pulled into his driveway at home, he was surprised to see that there was a flickering light within his living room window.
That’s odd, he thought to himself. He didn’t remember leaving the television on. He had been running late for work in the morning and hadn’t bothered with the news. What was even more odd was that the front door had been left unlocked, something that he never did.
“Well, it was about time that you showed up,” a deep voice bellowed, startling Ricky so bad that he jumped back and knocked over the coat rack that was right next to the door.
“What the hell?” He swore, disorientated for a moment before he attempted to get back on his feet. Once he had taken a moment to take in his surroundings, he had to stop for a moment to rub his eyes from disbelief. On his living room couch, there was a fat baby staring at him. A baby that didn’t look to be more than two years old, looking like the typical couch potato with a hand in a bowl of potato chips and the other hand wrapped around the neck of a bottle of Heineken beer. Ricky thought for a moment that someone came in to pull a prank on him and that it was a mannequin, until the baby moved to put some potato chips into it’s mouth. Then he couldn’t do anything but exhale and repeat, “What the hell?”
The baby furrowed it’s eyebrows. “You know, Richie, I personally know Santa Claus, and I don’t think that the kids on the nice list swear that much. Is that why you can’t hold down a relationship? Girls can’t handle your potty mouth?”
“Who are you?” Ricky asked after getting over his initial shock. “What are you doing in my house?”
The baby got down from its place on the couch and attempted to approach him, but ended up slipping and falling. It took some effort before he ended up on two feet, and it seemed to take more effort for the baby to walk towards him.
“Sorry,” the baby apologized. “I’m not used to being on two feet. Actually, that’s what I came to talk to you about, Richie. You’re the reason that I lost my wings today. What’s wrong with you?”
It was apparent to Ricky that this baby either lived in a world powered by imagination and crazy or the baby had already drunk too much. The third option was that Ricky’s latest failure of a date had manage to sneak a hallucinogen into his meal, but he just couldn’t see that as being possible.
“You’re out of your mind, little boy,” Ricky said. “You’re probably too drunk to understand this, but humans don’t fly. You’re also probably too drunk to realize that you’re a baby, and babies should not be drinking.”
Ricky tried to take the beer bottle away from the baby, only to be startled into backing up with his hands in the air when something sharp and metal was whipped out from behind the baby.
“Whoa, whoa, calm down,” Ricky tried to soothe as he tried to figure out how lethal the metal thing was. What was it, short little spear? “No need for things to turn violent.”
“Listen here, Richie,” the baby said with a voice of authority.
“Kid, I’m Cupid, and your string of so-called relationships has costed me my job.”
The moment of silence didn’t last long. Probably only five seconds had passed before Ricky started laughing.
“Okay, that’s funny, because for this to be real life, cupid has like a halo and wings, so someone has done a very good job at teaching you how to punk me,” Ricky declared once he got a hold of himself, “Second of all, if there really was a Cupid—and I don’t believe that there is—he really sucks at his job, because I have literally tried love more times than I can count, and I’m still by myself.”
The baby scowled with an indignant look and marched right up to Ricky and waved the pointed stick around, saying, “Okay, Mr. Perfect, have you ever stopped to consider that maybe you’re just really picky? I have been shooting arrows into the hearts of your potential interests for the past three and a half years. You have left plenty of women heart broken in your tracks, from the ideal housewife to independent super models. The only reason that you’ve been getting a bad slew the past month is because there are only so many women in the area, and you’ve declined practically all of the decent women. And because of you’re serial dating ways, I am about to lose my job unless I am able to fix you.”
It was like the spear that the baby had been waving around had managed to force its way through his chest as a painful name resurfaced in his mind. Juliette Waldorf. “Of course you can’t fix this. Because of your timing, the woman I was supposed to be with has already walked out of this town.”
Word Count: 1,006
Overall Word Count: 2,922
Slowly but surely, I will get to the end of the month eventually. And when I do, my sanity will hopefully be intact. I can certainly see this little morsel as something I could one day expand on. If you enjoyed this morsel of writing, it would mean the world to me if you liked, shared, and subscribed to my blog. Further more, if you haven’t, I would appreciate it if you went to look at some of my other blog posts as well, perhaps the post from Day 11 or the Crazy Car prompt?
XOXO Love Always,