NaNoWriMo Day 29

It's okay. You don't have to love me.

Prompt:

I found this dialogue prompt on Pinterest:

“It’s okay. You don’t have to love me.”

This is interesting in that it could be taken as super romantic, or just fifty shade of creepy. So of course, I thought that it was appealing and I wanted to write about it.

Writing:

“It’s okay, You don’t have to love me.”

     That’s what I told him, and at the time, it was true. It is still true to this day, and I am still okay. Because even though I loved him, I knew that it wasn’t the right time. I knew that he wasn’t ready to love yet, knew that settling down wasn’t one his mind. I told him that I loved him, and it was okay that he didn’t love me back because if he said he did I knew that he would be lying. Love was not what he wanted, but love is what I knew.
     He wanted to see the world. He was figuring himself out. He didn’t know what he was expecting out of life and didn’t want a relationship at the time. He was being honest, just like he’s always been. He did not want to commit to any kind of relationship. Some people might have just believed that he said it to just be kind, but I’m not upset over it. I’m not upset because I know that being kind is just who he is, just like he’s always just been honest.
     I know all these things, and yet I find that I haven’t let I’m go. It’s been months, and I find myself thinking about him. That’s sad, because the one thing that I don’t know is whether or not he thinks about me too. I don’t know if he looks at his Chipotle and remembers that I took him there for his first time. I don’t know if it crosses his mind that I always loved ballgowns when military ball comes up. I don’t know if he even remembers that I am always here for him, and that I don’t hold anything against him. I don’t even know if he’s even alive, because he’s been radio silent for so long.
     The one thing that I do know is that I miss him. I miss him, and he crosses my mind all the time. I think about him, and I wish that I knew how he was doing. I wish that I knew whether or not he’s happy, because then maybe I would be able to move on.
     I guess that’s the truth too. I loved him. He didn’t love me. And then he left, and even though it was okay that he didn’t love me, I don’t think I was ever at peace with the idea. I think about him all the time because I’m always going to wonder about where he is right now, what he’s up to, and if he’s found someone else, what’s she like? I just want to know how he is so that I can find peace. Peace so that my mind doesn’t wander to thoughts of him anymore.
Word Count: 470 words
Overall Word Count: 3,807
I feel like this piece truly is really basic and simple just because it’s about one emotion, but I kind of like it. Granted, the ending kind of just falls flat to me, but the point of this is to have something to fix at the end, because that’s better than just staring at a blank piece of paper and trying to get something on it.
If you enjoyed this morsel of writing, I would appreciate it if you like and share this piece, as well as subscribe to my blog so that you know when I update. If you have the time, feel free to maybe go look at my other pieces of work. Most recently, I wrote on Day 26, but I feel like Day 11 relates more to this piece in terms of emotion.
XOXO Love Always,
Kristi My♥

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